Dublin-born versifier John Jordan [1930-1988] waxed poetic about MAE WEST.
• • The mammary-minded academic, who lectured at University College [Dublin], was a leading light in the literary life of Ireland from the 1950s until his accidental death in Cardiff, Wales [June 1988] at age 58 years old.
• • A few months ago, Dedalus Press published a posthumous collection: Selected Poems by John Jordan. This body-obsessed salute to Mae on her 85th birthday — — referring to her breasts as "platinum alps" and "plastic dugs" — — would not have charmed the actress. Or would it?
• • • • To Ms Mae West on Her 85th • • • •
What right have you?
Did you pat your platinum alps
When across the electric wire
The thrilling message came
That the pelvic muscles were tranquillized
The gluteal shivers forever fridged
That in fact (O lamentable extinction!)
Elvis had gone pop.
Or did you cable another Cadillac
To some lucky mother-doll of Christ’s
Or over caskets run your pensive eye,
Golden, placid, lined with peachy silk,
And have your self re-measured
For the last tango with the beautician
Who’ll set all curves in proper mould,
The plastic dugs on top?
I weep not for the ‘King’: he wasn’t my type.
(Well, give him some pink, false roses.)
But you, old-timer, had better go West
While the pickings (pan me a nugget, Beulah)
Are ripe. The blue jeans of yesteryear
Might yet reverence your mummy,
And e’en their grassed spawn be mesmerized.
• • [Vallodolid — 17 August 1977 — by John Jordan]
• • Come up and see Mae every day online: http://MaeWest.blogspot.com/
• • Photo: • • Mae West • • none • •