• • It seems there's not much Mae West missed in life. Being in the driver's seat, however, Mae usually offered a narrow, well-paved road trip that very carefully circled her career and preoccupations during media interviews.
• • Charlotte Chandler was used to Hollywood's high-strung fillies. Talking as softly as a groom, Chandler stroked the massive flank of Mae's past, touching the cloudy mysteries that drifted across its hidebound version, and then (with a deft horsefly's touch) she set a shudder running. Chandler made no sudden moves that would startle that splendid order nor loosen the physics. But the mare mellowed during the journey, and Mae revealed a few new things.
• • Let's eavesdrop.
• • Here's an edited version of Charlotte Chandler's interview with Mae West [1893-1980] — — in the Ravenswood Apartments (Los Angeles, California) in 1979.
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• • CC: Do you think sex is better with love?
• • Mae: Honey, sex with love is the greatest thing in life. But sex without love — — that's not so bad either. Sex is the best exercise for developing everything. It's very good for the complexion and the circulation. I've always had the skin of a little girl. Go ahead touch it. [I touch her skin.] That's all real. I didn't ever have to lift anything.
• • CC: Do you remember when you first thought about sex?
• • Mae: I can't remember when I didn't. I always played with boys. They used to gather round me. I liked to see how each one kissed. A man's kiss is his signature. I always liked having a lot of men around. On a rainy night, it's like having more than one book to choose from, only better. I never could understand women who would almost die over one man. When you get rid of one, you don't want to sit around moping. When you mope, your mouth turns down; it puts lines in your face. There isn't any man in the world worth getting lines over. Too many women wait around depending on men to bring them happiness. I didn't depend on men for mine. I knew how to handle men. I have a code though: No drinking, no smoking, and no married men. There are enough men to go around.
My best lover was a Frenchman who would pick me up after Diamond Lil [in 1928] and take me to the other theatre to rehearse Pleasure Man. One Saturday night we were at it till four the next afternoon. Like I always said, "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men."
• • CC: What kind of "life" do you look for in a man?
• • Mae: Fire. A man can be short and dumpy, but if he has fire, women will like him.
• • CC: Who were some of the men who had that fire?
• • Mae: John Barrymore wasn't so bad. I wouldn't have minded playing with him. In a movie, that is.
• • CC: You mean you'd rather have had him as a leading man in a film than as a lover?
• • Mae: If I'd had to make the choice, yeah. Because movies are forever, and sex doesn't last.
• • CC: I gather that most of the men with whom you've had affairs were not performers.
• • Mae: You weren't in the bedroom with us, honey. With me, they were all good performers.
• • CC: Do you think being a lady means something different now from what it did? One thing that's changed is talking about it as a value. You were a good girl or a bad girl.
• • Mae: I was a bad girl with a good heart. I don't think things have changed so much. It's still a man's world, with men making the rules that suit them best.
• • CC: Which time was better for women?
• • Mae: I think it was better then. Now a woman's expected to do it, and the man doesn't even have to court her. The woman used to be a bigger prize. You've gotta have plenty of self-esteem, nerve, and be bold in life. I've been liberated all my life. I always did what I wanted to do. I was an original. I didn't understand then what films meant, every new generation rediscovering you. When I first came out here, I didn't understand how important Hollywood was going to be.
• • CC: Do you find Hollywood greatly changed now?
• • Mae: The star system's gone. I was a real star.
• • CC: Are there any ways you feel you're different from the public image of Mae West?
• • Mae: I'm glad you asked that. When people think you're funny, they start to laugh at everything you say. There was a lot of serious reflection in what I said. And I was always writing.
• • CC: I know you're especially proud of your writing.
• • Mae: The secret of it is to keep everything moving. Don't let the audience think of the dishes. You need to have some lines they can take away, like songs they go away humming. Do you type or write longhand?
• • CC: I write longhand.
• • Mae: That's the only way I could do it. They offered to teach me to type when I was in prison. Did you know I was in prison?
• • CC: Yes. But you weren't an ordinary prisoner.
• • Mae: I was never an ordinary anything. I had to stand trial because of my show, Sex. They said I could pay the fine, but I decided it would be more interesting to go to prison. They told me I had to wear prison clothes, but I said I was bringing my own underwear. I wore my silk underwear the whole time.
• • CC: How do you feel about censorship?
• • Mae: I believe in censorship! If a picture of mine didn't get an X rating, I'd be insulted. Don't forget, dear — — I invented censorship. Imagine censors that wouldn't let you sit in a man's lap. I've been in more laps than a napkin! They'd get all bothered by a line like "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?" You might say I created the Hays Office. I'm a kind of godmother to the Motion Picture Code. Now they use nudity and talking dirty to take the place of a good story. I didn't have to take off my clothes. Men imagined what was under them.
• • CC: A man's imagination is a woman's best friend.
• • Mae: Do you know what question I'm asked most? About the mirrors on my bedroom ceiling. I say, "I like to see how I'm doin'." You can go look at my bedroom.
• • CC: [As in the living room, everything in the bedroom was white. The perfectly made bed was covered with a white satin spread.]
• • CC: Did you like what you saw?
• • Mae: I did. It's one of the most famous bedrooms in the world. The most famous. What did you think of my bed?
• • CC: I thought what an interview it might give!
• • Mae: I wish I could've shown you my beach house. But I sold it. I never lost any money in art or real estate. Money is sexy for men, but people don't find it feminine for a woman to talk about it. So, you don't have to talk about it, just have it. The real security is yourself.
• • CC: Do you think money buys happiness?
• • Mae: No, but money is a great love potion for an affair. It buys a good bed with clean linens and time to enjoy it all. If you have money, you don't have to worry about it, and worrying spoils your looks. (pause) What are you calling your book?
• • CC: Do you have a suggestion?
• • Mae: [After thinking for a moment] You could call the book "Mae West and others" — — that's "others" with a small "o" — — and I want to be first. Being first is important in life.
• • CC: For you, what's the most important thing in life?
• • Mae: My career is everything. Always was. I never changed. Inside, I feel like the same little girl I was. But it was the way I grew up outside that men liked.
• • CC: What do you think men like in a woman besides physical beauty?
• • Mae: That's what men care about, except in their wives. Men admire devotion in their wives, beauty in other women. It seems to me that, for the world, a woman is the way she looks, and a man is what he does. A man should take as good care of his body as a woman does. I liked physically strong men who could fight over me. I didn't incite them. They just did it. What have you got there?
• • CC: A camera. I was hoping ...
• • Mae: I don't have my picture taken with other women. I never like to see myself in a picture, except surrounded by men. You should always keep the best picture of yourself in your own head. If you don't think you're wonderful, why should anyone else? I don't usually go on talking so much. You know, honey, I see something men must like about you: You're a brilliant listener!
• • CC: It's easy. I've had a wonderful time.
• • Mae: Do you know my idea of a wonderful time? Sex and chop suey.
• • CC: Together?
• • Mae: No. The chop suey tastes better after. Chop suey, sex, and my career. My work was the most fun. Sex was second best. You've gotta conserve your sex energy in order to do your work. The sex drive is behind everything creative we do. The stronger the sex drive, the stronger the desire to create. People who want one thing more want everything more. But there are moments to slow down. I don't like a man that's in a hurry. "I like a guy what takes his time."
• • CC: [I gather up my things to leave.]
• • Mae: Don't forget your baby oil. But remember what I told you: It's gotta be warm, and you've gotta have a man put it on — — all over.
• • CC: [Just as I was leaving, she called me back.]
• • Mae: Honey, there's something I want to tell you before you go. You know, my diamonds I told you all those men gave me? I wanted you to know — — I bought some of them myself.
• • Source: The Ultimate Seduction by Charlotte Chandler [NY: Doubleday, 1984]
• • Copyright Charlotte Chandler
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• • Come up and see Mae every day online: http://MaeWest.blogspot.com/
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