Mae West: You Can Quote Me

MAE WEST said it best.
• • A hard man is good to find.
• • Such a big issue — — over a little tissue.
• • Diamonds? Diamonds is my career!
• • Beulah, peel me a grape!
• • Goodness had nothing to do with it.
• • I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
• • He who hesitates is a damned fool.
• • It's the fairy princess, ya mug!
• • When I'm bad, I'm better.
• • I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.
• • I'm single because I was born that way.
• • Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
• • It's better to be looked over than overlooked.
• • I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.
• • When women go bad, men go right after them.
• • It's not the men in my life. It's the life in my men.
• • An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
• • Is that a gun in your pocket? Or are you glad to see me?
• • Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
• • A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
• • Cultivate your curves. They may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
• • Don't marry a man to reform him — — that's what reform schools are for.
• • Don't let a man put anything over you except a umbrella.
• • Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
• • Mmmm! Tall, dark, and handsome!
• • He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
• • His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
• • I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
• • Marriage is a great institution. But I'm not ready for an institution.
• • A woman in love can't be reasonable — — or she probably wouldn't be in love.
• • All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
• • I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
• • I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
• • Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
• • I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
• • I only like two kinds of men — — domestic and foreign.
• • I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going while you've still got them.
• • I speak two languages — — body and English.
• • I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
• • Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.
• • Come up sometime and see me. I'll tell your fortune.
• • Come up sometime when I've nothing on but the radio.
• • My right leg is Thanksgiving. My left leg is Xmas. Come up and see me between the holidays.
• • Mae also has terrific and original one-liners in the play Courting Mae West.
• • Come up and see Mae every day online: http://MaeWest.blogspot.com/
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Mae West
• • Photo: • • Mae West • • on the cover of Theatre Arts, 1950 • •
• • Feed — — http://feeds2.feedburner.com/MaeWest
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Mae West.

Mae West: Poetic Lust

An annual erotic poetry event in sunny California was inspired by MAE WEST. Who knew?
• • Taking place on December 29th this month at Priya Indian Cuisine [see below for the complete address in Berkeley], Poetry Express extends an invitation to its sixth annual "Between the Holidays Erotic Poetry Night."
• • The name of the event is a syntactic nod to Mae West, says Poetry Express host Mark States, who explains that the bawdy thespian "named her legs Christmas and New Year's and asked if you would 'come visit her between the holidays.'" [Perhaps we should state the obvious — — that this was well-known quip was not a line from one of the actress's movies for Paramount Pictures — — because a comment like this in a screenplay surely would have been red-lined by the film board's purity police.]
• • Throughout the evening, attendees' readings at the open mic will be interspersed with Mae West witticisms, quips, and quotes.
• • Although Poetry Express happens almost every Monday evening throughout the year . . . PE's erotica theme nights are a popular tradition in the local open-mic scene. One year, States remembers, "a triad — — one wife, two husbands — — came and read their group-sex poems to each other. Somehow," he laughs, "the rest of us felt left out." Another year, "the sensuous lesbian love stories were the most popular and sweat-inducing. ... Good erotic poetry does not have to be obscene, nor technical like the Kama Sutra," advises States, a noted performance poet whose books include Reinvention from Mother's Hen, Grip of the Past, and Tongue Control. "It should engage the audience, make them see and smell and taste the experience as though they were there. . . . If you can make me blush and sweat, you've written a great erotic poem." . . .
— — Excerpt: — —
• • Article: Do Tell: Warm up a winter night with erotic poetry, performed live.
• • Byline: Anneli Rufus
• • Published by: East Bay Express — — www.eastbayexpress.com/
• • Published on: 24 December 2008
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
• • Priya Indian Cuisine is located here: 2072 San Pablo Avenue, Berkeley, California 94702; 510-644-3977
• • Come up and see Mae every day online: http://MaeWest.blogspot.com/
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Mae West
• • Photo: • • Mae West • • Xmas greetings • •
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Mae West.