Friday, February 18, 2011

Mae West: You Can Quote Me

MAE WEST said it best.
• • A hard man is good to find.
• • Such a big issue — — over a little tissue.
• • Diamonds? Diamonds is my career!
• • Beulah, peel me a grape!
• • Goodness had nothing to do with it.
• • I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
• • He who hesitates is a damned fool.
• • It's the fairy princess, ya mug!
• • When I'm bad, I'm better.
• • I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.
• • I'm single because I was born that way.
• • Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.
• • It's better to be looked over than overlooked.
• • I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.
• • When women go bad, men go right after them.
• • It's not the men in my life. It's the life in my men.
• • An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
• • Is that a gun in your pocket? Or are you glad to see me?
• • Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
• • A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
• • Cultivate your curves. They may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.
• • Don't marry a man to reform him — — that's what reform schools are for.
• • Don't let a man put anything over you except a umbrella.
• • Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
• • Mmmm! Tall, dark, and handsome!
• • He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
• • His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
• • I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.
• • Marriage is a great institution. But I'm not ready for an institution.
• • A woman in love can't be reasonable — — or she probably wouldn't be in love.
• • All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
• • I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
• • I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.
• • Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
• • I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
• • I only like two kinds of men — — domestic and foreign.
• • I see you're a man with ideals. I better be going while you've still got them.
• • I speak two languages — — body and English.
• • I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
• • Any time you've got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.
• • Come up sometime and see me. I'll tell your fortune.
• • Come up sometime when I've nothing on but the radio.
• • My right leg is Thanksgiving. My left leg is Xmas. Come up and see me between the holidays.
• • Mae also has terrific and original one-liners in the play Courting Mae West.
• • Come up and see Mae every day online:
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• • Photo: • • Mae West • • on the cover of Theatre Arts, 1950 • •
• • Feed — —
Mae West.

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