Mae West: North Vine

MAE WEST [1893-1980] did not live to see the advent of the "reality show" on TV — — but folks who create these programs seem to have learned a lot from Mae's screenplays. Whereas sitcoms channel tension by assaulting social barriers, reality shows take them for granted and leave them alone. Reflections of this classless utopia can be seen in many Mae West films. Example: think of the sisterhood scene in "I'm No Angel" where Tira, surrounded by her maids, jokes with these black women almost as if they were teenagers fooling around at a sorority party.
• • In reality, Mae's parlor seems to have been a melting pot as well. Here's a utopian encounter Mae West had with Mike, a handsome telephone installer, in Los Angeles almost forty years ago.
• • Listen to Mike tell it: In 1970, I worked in Hollywood, California for Pacific Bell as a installer. One morning I was petrified. While checking my daily route, I noticed that I had an order to install an extension for Miss Mae West.
• • Naturally, I made it my first job. Mae West lived in one of her many real estate properties that she owned. A very wise lady, she invested all of her earnings. She lived in the 600 block of North Vine in an 1920s (retro looking) apartment building. It was a magnificent 3-story stucco building.
• • She lived on the second and third floors, overlooking a golf course. Her maid answered the door. Naturally I said: "Telephone man, I have an order to install an extension telephone."
• • She let me in and I was immediately overwhelmed at the beautiful artwork of Mae on all the walls in various forms of dress, from nude to full formal and, yes, in the living room (as expected) was a statue of David. Well, I WANTED TO HANG MY TOOL BELT ON HIS PROUD PART!
• • I worked for several hours trying to hide the wire as best I could. I was almost finished when the maid came in the guest restroom where I was installing the phone and announced, " Miss West is having coffee and would like you to join her."
• • I acted like it was a normal thing for me and said okay. I followed her to the front balcony overlooking the golf course, and there she sat. Mae was in her seventies — — but she didn't look over 40. She treated me as a good friend would have. After a few minutes, she was asking if I had a girlfriend and if I met many stars while working in Hollywood. She asked many questions about me. She made me feel that she was more interested in me than I should be in her. We talked for about half an hour, then she excused herself saying she had a meeting to attend. She stuck out her hand and I could tell it was not positioned to be shook, so I kissed it as she wanted. I felt proud that I reacted correctly because I had never kissed a lady's hand like that. Mae West smiled and I never saw her again.
• • The thing I remember most about Miss West was this: Mae was where she wanted to be, she was who she wanted to be — — and she was treated by everyone as she wanted to be. What a great lady, Mae West.
• • Come up and see Mae every day online: http://MaeWest.blogspot.com/
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Mae West
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Mae West.